gravity - sara bareilles
Thursday, August 13, 2009
8:03 PM


A week not as bad as last's, but certainly not fabulous. But hey we need our share of ups and downs right?


Girl, you've got the world at your feet, and you're taking it all for granted. Please stop, I would be so blessed and so so so so incredibly happy to have what you have now.




Everytime I listen to this song, I think of you - I think of how we are, and somehow, we're like that. I can't explain it, sometimes you make me so happy. Other times, it's not that great - but somehow, it's kinda okay y'know? I don't know, but I do know, you might be one of those people who stick in my life forever.


Mark, Steven and Kenn Huynh - thanks for listneing to me when I wasn't at my greatest. It means so so so much to me. Truly. This thank you note won't convey the appreciation I feel, but it's better than nothing. I love you guys, thanks for putting up with me (L)




Smile, it's a beautiful night.


xx

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you're my every thought
Saturday, May 16, 2009
2:22 PM


PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT CRITICISM TO ANY BLOGGERS WHO DO THIS. THIS IS HOW I FEEL FOR MY BLOG. THAT IS ALL.

I find myself blogging every single day now, when I should be actually studying. I have actually studied - it's just taking longer than I thought. This is probably why I'll fail.

I no longer put my blog url on my pm on MSN whenever I have a new post, because I don't like doing that anymore, and because I don't feel the need to always inform everyone of my blogs. I blog because I need to vent, or because I want to share some happy news, or because I get bored. I blog for me, not for anyone else - yes, it sounds selfish, but I guess this section of the internet, is my time. Time for me. Mish time. Call it whatever.

I don't like publicising my blog so much anymore. I don't want to force people to read it. Sometimes things are just too personal to share, sometimes there's just stuff I don't want to share, and sometimes I just don't want any attention to it.

It's just for me. For my benefit, for my enjoyment, and if it makes you happy to read it, then I'm just happier :)

xx

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emotion
Thursday, May 14, 2009
9:44 PM


I hate that only one person knows, but I can't really hate the fact that only one person knows because I made that choice.

You hate loving them, because you know deep down in your heart that somehow, it doesn't fit with expectations, that it doesn't fit together, and that it shouldn't be at all.

I hate how every possible insignificant thing can be made into a bigger deal, and then you get caught up with all your emotions that you can't differentiate between what happened, and what you wanted to happen.

You hate fighting it, but you can't seem to let it go, because it's the only thing that's letting you push on.

I hate feeling the way I feel because I know I shouldn't feel like this, yet I still can't help it.

You hate being told what to feel by others.

I hate being told how to feel by others.

And for what it's worth, would it help if I told you, that I knew exactly how you felt? Because, I think I truly do.

xx

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even if saving you sends me to heaven
Thursday, May 7, 2009
9:03 PM


I feel like I've grown a whole few years older within the span of 24 hours - and maybe it's because I've been talking to people, one on one thing, or maybe because I'm on a mood swing.

When does it happen? I know, it's cliche yadida - but it's true right? Time flies. It's like one moment I was 6 and starting my first day of Kindergarten (which has become blurry images mushed into another bunch of things in my mind), and suddenly, I'm a 15 year old, who suddenly knows lots of stuff, and has to deal with juggling school work and assignments, and now the upcoming half yearlys, and extra curricula like family, tutor, piano.

When does it happen? That our biggest fears and worries were if we were allowed to go to our friend's house over the weekend for their 8th birthday party, to if we'd get caught for doing something that doesn't sit right with higher authorities? (because obviously, we'd get in trouble .. but still, you get my drift)

When does it happen? That it gets all complicated and messy and delicate. It's when we realised that there are pros and cons to things, and that there is a lot more to consider.

Growing up - it's not all that bad, and for what it's worth, I'm thankful that I get to grow up with you guys (YEAR 10 09 HAHS!). I wouldn't have it any other way.

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAVERYYYYYYYYY ! ENJOY YOUR JAFFA CAKE :DDDDD

xx

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what?! two blogs in one day?!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
5:32 PM


I was on Lizzie's blog, and I came across something that I knew far too well. So, allow me to include it in my blog, for it represents what I feel as well.

I'm mad at myself, not you. I'm mad for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn't do, for getting attached, for making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, following you, changing for you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, and most of all for not hating which I know I should, but can't.

Everything was never enough for you.


I don't hate you, but I dislike you so much it amazes me that I can dislike someone so much. I didn't forget a single thing. I didn't forget how much it hurt. I didn't forget how selfish you were. But hey, to hell with you, cos I'm a better and stronger person without you.


xx

P.S. Do you rekon that if I somehow call Hamish & Andy, while they're on air, and talk to them about Saving Hurlstone's Farm, they'd actually do something? And that's only if I can get through the lines. LOL FML. No actually, F HURLSTONE'S FUTURE, looks doomed atm :(

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so what's it like?
Saturday, April 25, 2009
2:36 PM



So what's it like, having everyone to like you?
What's it like, not having any rumours circulating you?
What's it like, knowing that you can dish it out, but you can't ever take it?

So what's it like, having a continuous cycle of partners?
What's it like, to have all that money and just spend it on everything expensive, just for the sake of it?
What's it like, being who you are? What's it like to lie and deceive others in order to protect yourself?

So what's it like, if you don't understand from my perspective?
What's it like, to dish it out, but never take a moment to symphathise or to try and compassionately understand?
And what's it like, knowing, that ultimately, you may have been the reason that I've lost a bit of my faith in myself?

I'm not perfect, but neither are you.

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quote <3
Sunday, April 19, 2009
7:50 PM
Quotes from "The Nature of Jade" - Deb Caletti. (Except for the first one, the first one's all me lols)


Life is a continuous learning cycle, is it not? Everyday, we learn something new, even when it doesn't seem like it. It could be a new math formula, or the fact that you're happy, or that you finally figured out the problem to your money troubles. It's not always easy; it can be strenuos, and exhaust every last cell in your body. However, it must be noted that with every two steps forward you take with learning, you must always take one step back. Practice makes perfect, revision makes your memory better, and obtaining wisdom from your mistakes makes it the experience all the more worthy.



"It's like those days when you've got a really bad pimple but you still have to go to school. You've got to convince yourself it's not so bad just so you can leave the house and actually talk to people face-to-face. You've got to ignore the one big truth - life is fatal"



"I hate when every negatice act is blamed on your period. Sometimes bitchiness is just bitchiness, happily unattached to anything hormonal. It should get full credit"



"She makes me think of those days you have sometimes, when you're pissed off and driving everyone away with your mood, but what you most need is for someone to love you in spite of yourself"



"Love doesn't seem to follow a plan; it's not a series of steps. It can hit with the force of nature - an earthquake, a tidal wave, a storm of wild, relentless energy that is beyond your simple attempts at control."



"We are all tied together, even if we don't want to be. Animals and people. People and people. The trick is to face our necessary conncetions and disconnections."



" "If," Abe says. "It's a beautiful word. If is a key to any locked door" "



"If I didn't take risks, he'd said, I'd end up being one of those people who live limited lives, too afraid to take airplanes and swim in the sea and die on boats. People whose fear of death becomes death of life."



"It occurs to me, then: four people, four different rooms. We are in our own cages, unlike the elephants, who stay all together in their adopted family"




xx

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Weather Girl - Mario
Saturday, April 4, 2009
10:26 AM
TAXED OFF VI'S BEBO

Ten things I could say to ten different people right now:
1. You pissed me off today, and it wasn't the first time either. I think something's changed.
2. I wish you understood.
3. It doesn't change anything.
4. I wish you could appreciate the simpler things in life.
5. Please learn to say that word. It would benefit you, really.
6. I care about you, a lot.
7. Words can't ever thank you enough for all those times you were there for me.
8. (I would swear at you, but since I'm attempting to quit swearing, I can't)
9. What about me?
10. Smile more often love :)

Nine things about myself:
1. I have never stayed awake for a full 24 hours. Yes, including camp.
2. I haven't seen Edward Scissorhands.
3. I've played Piano since Kindergarten, except like three years of that I played keyboard. I don't know why...
4. I used to dance. I can't remember why I quit - I miss it so much.
5. I have 16 first cousins. Currently 15, one's on the way! :)
6. I drink 3 glasses of milk a day (I think everyone knows this, but I can't think of anything else).
7. I secretly love dresses and heels.
8. I'm pretty much always low on credit D:
9.

Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Spontaneity.
2. Those pretty coloured tulips, wish I knew what they were called :(
3. Makes me laugh.
4. Accepts who I am, despite all my flaws.
5. Laidback, but not too laidback, enough so that I have my own time and space.
6. Surprise hugs, or nice surprises in general - not like presents but.
7. Respect, loyalty, trustworthy.
8. Sweet, but not cheesy.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. Why won't you try to understand?
2. Will I actually achieve everything I want to achieve?
3. Why did I let him do that?
4. DAMN HE'S HOT LOL
5. Will Truong actually end for me LOL, cos it doesn't seem like it.
6.
7.

Six things I wish I never did:
1. Never speak up for myself during that time.
2. Hurt you - I was exceptionally naive.
3. Lie to my parents, then got busted majorly.
4. Cry so much over you.
5.
6.

Five turn ons:
1. Cute smile.
2. Smell really really really really nice. Like Calvin Klein fragrances for men.
3. A nice body will occassionally do.
4.
5.

Four turn offs:
1. REALLY BAD GROSS HABITS
2.
3.
4.


Three smileys that describe my life:
1. (=D)
2. [LAWL] (my new favourite emoticon!)
3. (:DD) (my favourite emoticon of all time!)

Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Travel the world.
2. Have majority of my ambitions/to-do list crossed off :)

One confession:
I miss you. (No, not you, someone else)



On a lighter note, quote of the day comes from Vivek during our PE dance lesson :)

WILSON SR.: Now everyone, I've noticed a couple of police cars have gone by, and I can see some top schoolers approaching. Whatever they do, ignore them okay? Just ignore them.
VIVEK: We'll look like losers if we're cha-cha-ing, and we're trying to ignore them.

If you didn't find that funny, well .. it might have been a kind of moment thing. Lols, I should get back to assignmenting. Au revoir.

xx

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portmanteau;
Monday, March 30, 2009
5:24 PM
Joke of the day
What did the babycorn say to the mummy corn?
Where's popcorn?

LOLOL, kudos to Jenny telling me that one :)

Funny thing of the day
- everyone in 10N is checking their School Cert info -
Tri: WHY IS IT WE NEED A SIGNATURE AT THIS AGE?

Apologies if you didn't get that - it was more like the moment kinda thing, you just had to be there. LOL, and if you guys get a chance to look at Tri's school cert paper info thing, you'll see he attempted his signature many times LOL.

I felt like doing this again, so you don't have to read on. That is why I put the funny stuff at the top :) Oh and before I go, I decided to try and get a job once again, cos I'm sick of staying home doing nothing majority of the time.

Write down what you want to say to ten people, but never will. Don’t write their names, leave it anonymous and never speak of it again.

1. There are a gajillion things I want to tell you, but I don't think you'd listen, and I don't think you'd understand. I know we're different, I know everything was/is in different scenarios and circumstances, but can't you just let it go? Please? For me? Why can't you try to understand? Why don't you make more effort? Why don't you trust me like everyone else trusts me? Why can't you see, that I'm a pretty decent person? Why can't you accept that I am who I am?

2. I'm so glad that we're close again. I really am. It's made me realise how much fun we had, and how you were always there no matter what. So yay :)

3. When I heard you proclaim that you were going to change, I was so proud of you. I was so happy for you, and I knew you had it in you. I rekon, if you stuck by what you proclaimed, you'd be really really happy, and proud of yourself.

4. I think you're hot :)

5. I don't really like the way you think how you're great at everything, seriously. Like I know you're talented, but .. just yeah. Just stick with your thing and do that.

6. This sounds stupid, but I don't like the way you're too honest. It hurts my feeling sometimes, so like .. maybe you could find a more gentler way to express your honesty? Because as much as I love you, the way you say those things sometimes just ...

7. I think you're a tb. Fuck you for screwing with what's important to me. You deserve shit, seriously. Freaking grow up, and get a dose of reality, cos life isn't all about good looks.

8. Honestly, I don't care what you say. As long as I do well, and I make myself proud, I don't have to impress you.

9. To hell with you biaaatchhhh :DDD. Hope that karma catches up with you :DDD

10. I think if you stopped making those choices, you'd appreciate things more.


xoxo

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