My thoughts have been killing me indeed. Although it's none of my business, I can't stop thinking about it. At first, it was mostly shock and pity. I sent my wishes to your family, and then I learned the truth yesterday. And I can't understand why. Why did you do it? Were you unhappy? Did you feel like you had no one to talk to, no where else to turn? What provoked you to do it? Did you think what kind of effect this might leave on people, especially your family? Maybe I'm just a nosy person, but then again I didn't expect this to affect me so much.

I don't want to judge you, but I must criticise you. Why did you give up? Okay, so maybe it wasn't the same thing as what I'm thinking - but why didn't you just maybe, try a little harder? Or did it feel like the whole world was against you? Did it feel like you had absolutely no one at all? I'm sorry for being nosy, and I mean no disrespect whatsoever. I don't know - but then again, I don't think anyone will ever get answers. After what happened.

What did it feel like? To know what you were going to do - and to know what you were going to leave behind. Maybe you didn't know - because, you weren't entirely happy. Were you perhaps trying to run away from a problem? Did it all become too much? Were you scared? Did it hurt?